Smiling Depression: Absolute Menace Demanding Attention

  • Mood

Is Smiling Depression Serious?

Smiling depression is said to be the case when someone who is enduring abysmal sadness masks their symptoms by hiding them behind a smile, to convince other people that they are happy. Smiling depression is even more serious than sad or typical depression, because people turn away the social support which would have been available if they revealed how they felt. They close their own eyes to their feelings, so it becomes harder for others to notice that something is amiss. In effect, there’s no helping hand to hold such people above the water when they’re drowning. Someone needs to reach out and save them.

Psychological pain appears less painful, but is more common and harder to bear. Hiding emotional pain makes it worse. It’s easy to say my tooth is broken. But it’s hard to say my heart aches.

- Benjamin Franklin

Smiling Depression Symptoms are Hidden

It’s very hard to spot sufferers of smiling depression. We expect depressed people to be crying, staying at home, not doing the everyday tasks that they’re expected to, and complaining to the world about how they feel. But, because they hide so deep behind their mask, they suffocate and suffer more. Usually, it seems like they don’t have a reason to be sad – in most likelihood, they will have a job, a good home, possibly success too, as well as happy families, children or a partner. They smile when you greet them, maybe even laugh and typically always carry very normal, and pleasant conversations. Some of them may be great at making others smile too. Their life is a living paradox.

Smiling Depression Signs are Unclear

Depression unfortunately is not ‘standardized’ diagnosis. Like an appendicitis for example, in which we start off with pain in the stomach, that migrates to the right side of the abdomen, and is associated with vomiting and fever. Now that’s obvious, and is not even an everyday pain. So, we seek help for it. And feel better eventually. But in depression, things can either be completely obvious that a person is outright unhappy, or it could be that you’d never in a million years guess that this person was depressed at all. It is a high functioning depression. Where people can smile and yet are battling the gravest scuffles within themselves.

Smiling Depression Signs

  • Out of the normal mood changes
  • Contrasting or switching emotions
  • Frustration, annoyance, irritability
  • Anger, that is surprisingly different
  • Noticeable increase in the appetite
  • Chocolate, sweet, fatty food binges
  • Calmer demeanor in the mornings
  • Worsened mood as the day passes

Smiling Depression Facts

  • This is not a dramatic spectacle
  • They aren’t crying for attention
  • Their irritation isn’t intentional
  • Things aren’t how they appear
  • They are guilty and embarrassed
  • Absent tell-tale signs, still tell a tale
  • You may not see it, but it is there
  • They can help it; only with our help
We like to see the tell-tale signs else we mistake it for drama or overreaction, or just a cry for attention. The problem is that if we don’t see depression symptoms, we can’t believe it. Knowing that we may not know, helps empathize better and believe that such depression exists.
depression therapy see a psychiatrist

“Happiness is not defined by the measure of the currency you hold. Happiness itself is the ultimate currency.”

- Shefali Batra

Why People Hide Depression Symptoms

Depression and guilt are inseparable twins. The shame that depressed people have in their stomachs is irrational, excessive and unreasonable. But when logical thinking gets clouded by twisted and distorted cognitive processing, people feel embarrassed to ask for help. They feel they don’t want to burden their loved ones. Nearly 90% of depressed individuals reported that they believe they should be able to ‘snap out’ of their low mood; and if they cannot, they’re simply weak.

Societal humiliation around depression doesn’t help. Depressed people endure twofold stigma. They already feel miserable about not being able to live a fulfilling life, and then a superadded assumption of being ostracized by family and friends who may not understand. In their mind, a display of happiness becomes an obligation. And they become self-created puppets, dancing to the tune which they assume their family, friends and workplaces expect them to. Nobody wants to appear weak, but trying to run a marathon with a fractured leg will kill the leg. Perfectionism drives many people to wear a happy mask while the sadness gnaws at their skin bit by bit.

A lot of the time, depression is not about not having friends or near and dear ones. It’s about friends and loved ones who unfortunately don’t know hence don’t understand.

- Shefali Batra

Common Smiling Depression Symptom: Suicide

In general, anyone with depression is at risk of suicide, but smiling depression magnifies this risk because people are high-functioning and can make more concrete suicidal plans. Emotional pain is magnified manifold in smiling depression because of the missing social support, which is otherwise protective.

If we don’t see how these people feel, how will we be able to help them get better? They spend manifold mental energy to put on a façade of fun and happiness for the outside world and this alienates them further. The hopelessness is incessantly brewing, raising the suicide risk. While smiling on the outside, people are slowly dying on the inside.

Smiling Depression Treatment

We need to open our eyes to the problem to see it, spot it and correct it. People can’t always help themselves, but we can. And if you feel this way too, you must know that you can speak up, and someone is always there to listen. Professional help can be life-saving. Techniques like cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and emotion focused therapies (EFT) can help.

And yet, above all, a supportive network makes the vastest difference. A sense of community and being able to talk to even one person about how you feel, can build security and flip the thinking in a positive direction. Staying disconnected enhances alienation and thoughts of death.

“Connection enables people to be seen, heard and valued without feeling judged negatively. It is the only way to combat disconnection.”

- Shefali Batra
Mindfulness-based approaches in depression treatment work largely without medicines. Some customized approaches allow you to connect with the guiding expert every day so that the sense of alienation does not occur and when you need support, you know it’s there. Truth also is – it’s not the actual support but the perception of it that keeps you going. You have to believe that there is a way; or pave that way yourself. Experienced experts, a caring family, and concerned friends, all make a difference. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, or a waste of time, energy, resources and money. Life is precious. Let’s value it a little more and fight smiling depression.

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