Dual Sex Therapy (DST)

What is Dual Sex Therapy (DST)?

Dual sex therapy (DST) is a method of working with couples instead of individuals, in order to resolve their intimacy problems. There is no such thing as an uninvolved partner when it’s about  committed relationships. One partner may not be the cause of the problem, but is always affected by it nonetheless.

That is why the Masters and Johnson Dual Sex Therapy model is effective for couples. It incorporates self-awareness, problem identification, self-disclosure, blame avoidance and systematic action planning in order to improve performance, and sustain orgasm and satisfaction. This is a rapid and intensive approach to treating sexual problems. The couple is usually seen at short regular intervals, sometimes even every other day in order to challenge sexual issues and the coexisting anxiety. Different therapy approaches contribute to the final intimacy and relationship outcomes for the couple.

Cognitive Therapy (CT)

This entails cognitive reappraisals of the relationship and what role each of the partners has to play in the relationship dyad to keep each other happy

Behavior Therapy (BT)

This involves the assessment and conscious management of negative emotional experiences that have been clubbed with sexuality influencing it negatively

Rational Emotive Therapy (REBT)

This helps to sort differences in the partners’ emotions and make them more accepting of each other’s’ traits and preferences

Transactional Analysis (TA)

This modality allows gauging the ego states in each of the partners and matching the strokes they give one another to attain better outcomes.

Sensate Focus

This is a technique that allows the partners to focus on their sensory perceptive modalities and ‘feel their partners without actually having intercourse

Sex Therapy

This involves the hands-on tips and techniques for bettering the sexual encounter using sensate focus and learning newer interesting techniques to please each other

Principles of DST

Even though emphasized that intercourse and sensuality are natural and instinctive, there are rules and guidelines that can mend broken connections. In this light, DST is a form of behavior modification (of sexual behavior). Impaired satisfaction from intercourse stems from perceived inadequacies, emotional distractions and deep-rooted anxieties. These may cause fears to become a conditioned, hence fear of performance gets learned, practiced and reinforced. These faulty styles have to hence be unlearned, and appropriate techniques relearned. A willingness to identify the deep-seated troubles, accept it and take deliberate steps is the premise of all DST methods.

Sex therapy must break sexual taboos

Process of Sex Therapy

This process is known as ‘dual’ as both partners come forward for prompting self-change. It involves individual sessions with each partner with a detailed assessment of personal viewpoints. Subsequently the therapist delves into the real or perceived inadequacies in both. All discussion is confidential even though sessions are alternated between the couple. Through this exercise the therapist identifies the turmoil and its perceived cause and impact on the sexual experience on the couple. Techniques targeted at diminishing expectations and augmenting pleasure for the other are provided. Fulfilling sexual experiences are considered to be an extension of love, not just an orgasm; thus, the non-physical attraction component is stressed upon in great detail.

Salient Facts About Dual Sex Therapy

This approach is different from the classic one-on-one guidance that is taken with both the partners individually. In the traditional approach, the therapist is not aware of the entire sexual experience. That is why in DST, speaking with both partners about sexuality and getting individual perspectives is essential. The couple is asked exactly what they wish to attain through this process and their desires become the therapy goals. Here are some principles of this approach.

Sex is Natural

Therapy cannot teach the couple how to feel about sex or make them orgasm. Sex is assumed to be a natural function and both partners’ individual preferences about sexuality as well as their personal hurdles and obstacles which are hindering the sexual experience are discussed.

Have No Pressure to Perform

The Initial rule in therapy is to avoid sexual intercourse completely. The idea is to build the appetite alongside lowering the anxiety, coping expectations, and adopting a non-judge mental attitude towards each other as well as the sexual act. Communication is important here.

Avoid the Blame Game

Couples are advised to treat themselves in the context of the relationship as one unit. That is why there is no blaming. Each person takes accountability for themselves. And together the couple works on creating the right mood, right touch and right style of lovemaking.

Don’t Make It a Big Deal

Couples tend to catastrophize the anxiety stemming from let’s say, inability to attain erection or attain orgasm. This form of therapy emphasizes the importance of the interpersonal bond. This enhances intimacy and improves the overall sexual satisfaction without self-blame or hate.

Dr Shefali Batra: Reframing Sexuality

Sex is a basic human need and essential for holistic wellness. Passion drives all humans. That is why understanding sexuality, its requisites and interpersonal preferences is essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. Communication between both partners and their degree of compatibility makes a huge difference in their sexual satisfaction. 

Sexuality is a matter of deliberate practicality in choices. A blend of the desire to please and willingness to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure, drives sensual passion. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as well as the partner’s needs. We encourage each participant to focus on the sensual experience rather than physical satisfaction as the sole goal of a sexual encounter. Denial of the problem will not make it go away. Therapy will enrich you, as well as your relationship. Seek therapy now.

In her interviews with the digital magazine  DailyO, Dr Shefali discussed Frequency of Sexuality. as well as the Art of Raunchy Sexual Conversations. Femina discussed Sex Therapy with Dr Shefali Batra, highlighting erogenous zones in the body and how to stimulate them for a better sexual experience.

References

  • Hawton, K., (1995). Treatment of sexual dysfunctions by sex therapy and other approaches. Br J Psychiatry;167(3):307-14.
  • Brady, J. P., (1976). Behavior therapy and sex therapy. Am J Psychiatry;133(8):896-9.
  • Master, W. H., Johnson, V. E., (1976). Principles of the new sex therapy. Am J Psychiatry;133(5):548-5

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